when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now
Over on the Digital Songs chart, Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” blasts in at No. 1, selling 544,000 downloads in its first week — the biggest sales week of 2014 and the fourth-largest debut week ever.
The only starts that were larger were logged by Flo Rida’s “Right Round” (636,000 in 2009), Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” (623,000 in 2012) and Katy Perry’s “Roar” (557,000 in 2013).
- someone: you're fat
- me: thanks
- someone: but I just called you fa-
- me: i know and i forgive you for misspelling fab
- someone: but
- me: apology accepted